Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconkatrinadoesntknow: More from Katrinadoesntknow


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
July 22, 2010
File Size
678 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
241
Favourites
13 (who?)
Comments
14
Downloads
4
×
Raised on delusional belief
Of deranged cerebral chess games
Forging memories into myth.
Behind the curtain is a puppet master
Reminding me that I'm not an illusion

Ramming their rancid fingers
Into my head.
Deliriously caressing the frantically
Running thoughts trying desperately
To flee the on coming crash

Your wondering fingers slither their way
Through my soul, corroding the crumbling
Walls of a rapidly deteriorating city.
Abandoned  after many years of thought.
Forgotten.
I tried to write... pretty sure it didn't work
Add a Comment:
 
:iconalecwolfe:
This is really nice. You have used some beautiful metaphors here to create a very powerful effect that most people would be able to relate to. The second stanza, in particular, reads really well - easy, with a nice rhythm. Great work.
Reply
:iconkatrinadoesntknow:
thank you very much
Reply
:iconalecwolfe:
you're very welcome
Reply
:iconrainyskyz:
RainySkyz Jul 25, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
It worked. I like it!
Reply
:iconkatrinadoesntknow:
thank you very much :p
Reply
:iconkatrinadoesntknow:
Hmmm I dont remember but I'm sure there was a reason I said that
Sorry for the confusion :)
Reply
:iconkatrinadoesntknow:
Hmmm I dont remember but I'm sure there was a reason I said that
Sorry for the confusion :)
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Jul 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
This is excellent! I love the ways you worded this. The power, the energy, the imagery...excellent job! I'm pretty sure that you succeeded. ^.^
Reply
:iconkatrinadoesntknow:
Wow :0 that was surprise :) I wasnt expecting such a response. Thank you
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Jul 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. ^.^
Reply
Add a Comment: