[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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More from ~Katrinadoesntknow

Fair EnoughWhen glass breaks it doesn't shatter into diamonds.
It bursts into a million pieces of a mirror seeing different scenes.
Each reflecting back their shattered caricature of the point of view they see.
Laughing to the point of contagious cracks;
they can't help but invite themselves in.
Besides who's going to deny them from entering.

Its spreads in ripples…
Then works its way across the surface.
Bringing waves of dramatic change that's only visible for a few moments.
(Most miss it.)

So many scenes to play, they could live lifetimes in seconds
(each crying for someone to keep up.)
But no one can.

Fair enough.

Bedding with ChaosMemories are the shadows of a life we'll never live again
and are sometimes fun to replay every now and then.

But some are hard to grasp
And in others the voices relapse.
Then ones you don't want to stay
always turn out to be clear as day.

Memories like those I wish for thick clouds and foggy rain,
I want the biting cold to numb me from this scene of disdain.

You asked me to clear the clouds from my head
Its more poisonous then being filled with lead.
But I promise you that I'll never confess
That inside my head is really a mess.

In the end memories like you are the hardest to renew
Then I think to myself, why would I want to?

Regret of RedemptionSo angelic praying to your
God. Enjoying the
Euphoric sighs of guilt free

Sin burning as you drink
Your water ,so blessed, to
Feel it singeing the back of your throat.

You painted a heavenly escape with
Shredded paper from a worn out book.
Rewritten; with a different fairy tale in mind.

Snakes And CandyYour smile could charm the lies of snakes that filter through clenched teeth, they slither and wrap around my ear, tainting my white cloud of thoughts with sticky tar. It oozed around, coating it.

I laughed when you sprinkled powdered sugar over it, calling it candy.
Oh boy,
I swallowed it whole and licked my fingers clean.

Preserving DecayWhat would you do if I told you that what's best of me is holding together what's rotting my core?
How would you feel knowing that what you love the most about me is what's keeping me from getting better?
Would you kill what's best of me to stop my demons and my bitter pride?

I would like you to know that it wouldn't change the way I feel about you.
Those - three - little - words
(that sometimes get pushed through airtight lips.)

But someone forgot to let out the moths.
(Lets just say that they had their way with a cotton tongue.)
Now the worn cloth doesn't flow like it use to.

A hollow structure, bends in the lightest breeze.
Is

Ode To MonotonesHe had a colorful past mostly full of red.
One day he said to me that I painted my past grey,
Bleeding the vibrancy of any color into transparency,

Leaving myself in a monotone world.

I tried to tell him that they were colorful
Shades of grey, each different in their own way.
He snorted instead claiming it was all in my head,

Giving me a chance to feel red once again

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Submitted: July 22, 2010
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Wondering Fingers

by ~Katrinadoesntknow, Jul 22, 2010, 5:46:27 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Raised on delusional belief
Of deranged cerebral chess games
Forging memories into myth.
Behind the curtain is a puppet master
Reminding me that I'm not an illusion

Ramming their rancid fingers
Into my head.
Deliriously caressing the frantically
Running thoughts trying desperately
To flee the on coming crash

Your wondering fingers slither their way
Through my soul, corroding the crumbling
Walls of a rapidly deteriorating city.
Abandoned after many years of thought.
Forgotten.

Wondering Fingersby ~Katrinadoesntknow

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I tried to write... pretty sure it didn't work

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~AlecWolfe Jul 31, 2010

This is really nice. You have used some beautiful metaphors here to create a very powerful effect that most people would be able to relate to. The second stanza, in particular, reads really well - easy, with a nice rhythm. Great work.

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 31, 2010

thank you very much

~AlecWolfe Jul 31, 2010

you're very welcome

*RainySkyz Jul 25, 2010

It worked. I like it!

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 25, 2010

thank you very much

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 22, 2010

Hmmm I dont remember but I'm sure there was a reason I said that
Sorry for the confusion

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 22, 2010

Hmmm I dont remember but I'm sure there was a reason I said that
Sorry for the confusion

=TwilightPoetess Jul 22, 2010

This is excellent! I love the ways you worded this. The power, the energy, the imagery...excellent job! I'm pretty sure that you succeeded. ^.^

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 22, 2010

Wow :0 that was surprise

I wasnt expecting such a response. Thank you

=TwilightPoetess Jul 22, 2010

You're very welcome. ^.^

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