[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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More from ~Katrinadoesntknow

Love Like Concrete FeetHer lungs became iron balls that forgot they knew how to expand.
They tried to recycle the rotting carbon dioxide circling through her system, pleading that this poison will revive her parched blood cells-

(Little specs of dust, that once carried very code that gave her life,
greedily soak up the carbonic acid as if it will restore their died up walls.)

The air sacs in her lungs fill with water as she drowns herself in thoughts of him.

(But she lost the right to ask for heaven's help
Because she had too many chances to make it right.)

Images of him fogged her mind like little feet kicking up mud from the bottom of a pond.
Stirring up

Love Like LeprosyShe let arsenic seep into her DNA…

Chromosome splitting, gene defecting mistake,
Or merely a matter of survival?

It became a type of sickness, a different kind of leprosy
An undetectable, new breed that hollowed out the nerve endings connecting what she did to how she feels.

So she hid her disease under blinding, white straps of purity.
Until there came a time when she needed to rip off her bandage; Expose the festering wound beneath so that it could breathe.

Pulsating to its own beat like a malignant heart spreading pus through her veins with each thump.
(Tha-thump Tha-Thump)
It doesn't get f

Fingertips with Scalpel PrecisionRustic eyes flaked off in golden blindness searching for a friendly face.

But I want to leave, go somewhere else and start off with a clean slate.
A place where I'm just another face with only a name.
A harmless face that will melt away in the background.
In the shadows away from where the light can bring out every line of my disgrace.

Like a contorted snake
Dislocating its jaw
A terrorizing sight that still
Can't finish all its plate

Series of numbers run across my eyes naming every single day I screwed up.
Looking back on those times I can't see what they mean.
(Stupid girl you know what you've seen.)

When the smile breaks, its

To Fly FreeShe's so little and low, all the way down
Free falling until she hit's the ground.
She lets it flow seeping all around
Burying her body under a mound

Everybody sits afraid to stare
At the small body that once was there.
She always laughed that its not fair
That birds fly free and she can't compare.

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Submitted: July 22, 2010
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Bitter Sweet Relief

by ~Katrinadoesntknow, Jul 22, 2010, 10:39:37 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Sweet images plague my dreams
Granting me a chance of escape

But taken away with whirls of screams
Throwing me back into my realm of reality

My eternal punishment is a secret not unknown.
To martyrdom those suffering for their sins to be

Written in vines of flames that will forever weave throughout
Their revived withering bodies.

Forever in pain but they will never die.
I watch them as they beg. I feel and feed
Off of their pain.

But none of their pain is strong enough to cover mine.
Just one little distraction, one small fix.
Like a drug that keeps your thirst barely quenched.
Their velvety pain washes over my body and in that
Moment mine leaves me.
Just a moment.
A moment longer,
Please?

Angelic pictures rush through my dream
Providing me with a moment of escape
But only for a moment.
Sweet images that plague my dreams
Why do you haunt me the most?

Bitter Sweet Reliefby ~Katrinadoesntknow

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I feel like this one didnt turn out as good as it could have been. Tell me if you see places in need of improvement please. If you read this please try to guess who this is. Its not hard

~EmaciatedandEpitaphs Jul 22, 2010

is this self talking to self? the half admiring, sickening desire, the other loathing and to dissinigrate the thoughts? Both so addicted.
desicions, desicions

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 22, 2010

good guess but I am not gonna tell you. but did I do a good job?

~EmaciatedandEpitaphs Jul 22, 2010

you r surpassing me, nd dont tell no one, but im kinda jellin.... =[

~Katrinadoesntknow Jul 22, 2010

Actually my vision challenged friend I am so far from surpassing you that you are about to surpass me again so it looks like I am in front of you

~EmaciatedandEpitaphs Jul 22, 2010

and bullshit doesnt work because i already lost.

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Bitter Sweet Relief

Bitter Sweet Reliefby ~Katrinadoesntknow

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